The Face of Rabies

Do you watch "The Office"? You know those episodes about Meredith where Dwight throws a trash bag over her head in attempts to catch a bat, thus trapping her head in the bag with the bat? And then the episode when Michael accidentally hits Meredith with a car, breaking her pelvis? While in the hospital, as you remember, Meredith finds out that not only does she have a broken pelvis from Michael, but she also has rabies from the bat incident with Dwight.

Michael decides (probably out of guilt for hitting her with the car...look it up on YouTube, it was really funny!) that the Scranton Dunder Mifflin branch should hold a Fun Run to raise money for Rabies research. As a failed attempt to raise the sympathy vote flyers were created (see photo above) appealing to people to Look Into the Face of Rabies.

While watching The Office other day it dawned on me that I know someone who looks exactly like Meredith. This particular woman happens to be the Mother of all Micromanagers everywhere. In order to entertain myself I pulled up the above picture to show to a friend and forever more when I see this lady I realize that I am looking into the Face of Rabies.

This uncanny look-a-like keeps an internal laughter going when absurd things happen - like the time she walked past me while I was working on something, then backed up and walked past again just to make sure I'd look at her to acknowledge she was walking by. Her explanation - not mine. Or the time she emailed on her day when she in a tizzy because I didn't answer an email from her within a few minutes. Oops, I forgot that I have to respond to all the 5000 emails I get daily within 10 minutes. My bad.

The more angry she gets, the more I just want to laugh. This, my friends, IS The Face of Rabies. I'm sure that more "FORab" stories will be coming.

A Troll with Mean Streak

I work with a Troll.

No joke. A Troll. My manager and several of my co-workers all confirm this belief and will stand behind me in this assertion.

I work in the purchasing office for a University here in Denver, CO. One of our AP (Accounts Payable) techs would win an award for "Battiest Co-worker Imaginable" - if such a thing existed. I could hand out many awards to several co-workers. However, this lady takes the cake. I have yet to meet someone who works with someone that even comes close to the bizarre ways of The Troll.

So you get a picture: this lady is about 5'1''. A boxy lady with glasses, a rather large mole on her chin, and a cackle that would rival the best witch cackles you've ever heard. I'm tempted to put a link to her picture - but that wouldn't be nice would it? I have realized that she never washes her hands after using the rest room. This knowledge helped explain why at my first company potluck everyone seemed to rush to the front of the line - pushing in front of The Troll. No one dares touch anything after she's gotten her poop-hands all over the utensils. Wish they would have told me before I ended up at the back of the line.

The Situation:

My cubicle is situated right next to a man lovingly referred to as TNT. He is a good natured man in his 40s with black and purple hair, a vegan diet, and a knack for creating nicknames for everyone worth note. The Troll ("PK" to him) has for some reason decided to unleash on him.

Last Friday she went to him asking for him to help her with something. When I see her I turn down my music so I can listen to the scene as it unfolds. That particular day she chose to tell TNT that she wanted to throw acid on him.... Insert her maniacal cackle here.

After much though as to how to respond to this he decided to go to the source. Talk to the Troll and tell her that this isn't acceptable humor to him. TNT walks over to her cubicle (thankfully on the far side of the office) and tells her that though he's all for humor and joking in the workplace - it makes him uncomfortable to be threatened with acid. One would think that she would apologize citing humor. Nope - not the Troll. Her response to him included correcting him saying that she never said she was going to simply throw acid on him. She wanted to make sure he realized that she wanted to "Throw acid all over your face and melt it off." She then growled (yes, growled) at him and walked away.

Who does that? I have a good feeling that more Troll stories will be haunting this blog. Some things just need to be written about for the amusement of the masses. If nothing else - enjoy the Schadenfreuden feeling you get knowing that this is not YOUR co-worker.