Is that Blood on the Wall? Or Just a Bad Paint Job?

Since I've been married to JB we have lived in 5 different homes together. 4 apartments and 1 house. We've lived in Oklahoma City, Kansas City, Overland Park, Hood River, and Lakewood together. Most of these places were wonderful - and the one that was less than ideal....well....it makes for a good story.

We moved to Kansas City in August 2007. I got to the apartment complex about 2 hours before JB did - he was driving the moving truck. I walked into the leasing office of the place that JB picked out to get a key and to sign the lease. He told me that the place had just gone through a multi-million dollar renovation. Well, this is true - but... well, I'll keep going.


Walking into the leasing office I met Ricky. Ricky was a male cross-dresser. The funny thing is that JB and I could tell which Ricky looked better as - a female or a male. He/She was able to pull off both. Ricky walked me to our new apartment and showed me around. The biggest problem with the place was simply that the parking lot looked like it hadn't been paved in several years. But - we were told - that would be changing. I think that the day we moved in the place looked better than we were ever going to see it again. We were the only white couple to be found in our building.


Not long into our stay there we started giving our friends the grand tour. Our apartment was in a dorm-style building. The wall on the bottom floor was filled with large shoulder and body sized holes in the wall. At shoulder height there was a blood streak that went the entire length of the hall. The stairwell was home to hair extensions, condoms, trash, and many other things. So much for the renovation. Our apartment itself was actually nice, you just had to forget everything else. The place wasn't all bad.

John and I had free entertainment several nights a month consisting of sitting on our balcony watching the police officers chase down people, break up domestic violence, deal with people shooting out the front door, and many other things. It was our idea of a neighborhood block party. One night we had 18 police cars in the parking lot. Great entertainment! Of course - most of our neighbors were also watching, but many of them also felt the need to give advice to the perps.


One night JB was house sitting for some friends of ours. He told me that if there was anything I needed call him. I woke up at 3:17am to shots being fired. I called JB in a panic. He asked me if I wanted him to come home - and I told him that was a horrible idea because I didn't want him to be caught in the cross-hairs. The next morning it was pouring down rain. I went outside to my car so I could help a friend move. When I got into the car I noticed that the dashboard was covered in water. I looked up and saw a bullet hole in the middle of my windshield. I called JB and told him that I had discovered what had been shot the night before.






Fourth of July the year that we lived there was one of the worst holidays I've experienced. Our next door neighbors decided it would be fun to shoot off M40s INSIDE the building right in front of our door....at 2AM. Our apartment filled with smoke and alarms were going off everywhere. This doesn't account for what was going on outside too. You'd think that you moved to the middle of a war zone. Like the wonderful husband that he is - JB made me comfort food at 2:30am and put on Singing in the Rain for me to watch to settle down. God bless him!


Finally after a year we moved out. No harm but a dent that remained in our trunk from where the bullet tried to escape the car - and many many stories. While we were moving out my purse was stolen from inside our apartment while we were carrying boxes up and down the stairs. Yes Apartments, I will miss you too!

Larimer Chalk Art Festival

I must say, I love Denver! For two weekends in a row I have been able to hop on a light rail downtown and head to several free festivals. Last weekend I went to their Art Festival and a free concert containing many bands - including Five For Fighting. And let me tell you - the people watching opportunities are in abundance!





Last weekend I went with JB and a couple of new friends (including my Bus Buddy - I love my bus!) I went to the Larimer Chalk Art Festival. Over 200 chalk artists filled a two block radius with their beautiful art. I didn't know that simple chalk could make things that were so amazing.






One thing JB and I have found is that no matter where you live fun/cheap/free things can be found. This Chalk Art Festival was free! So were all of the other festivals we've attended. Being amused and going on dates doesn't have to cost anything! You just need to know where to look and JB is the best at finding things.





I hope you enjoy the art as much as I did.

You mistook me as your personal slave!

I consider myself to be a helpful person at work. When I see someone who needs an extra hand - and I have the time - I try to offer my assistance. I only have one stipulation: the person should be trying to do their work on their own first. It drives me bonkers when people simply decide they don't feel like doing their own work and bum it off on some else. It is one thing when you're busy and ask for help. It is another thing entirely when a person is histrionic about their work load or would simply rather play on the Internet than do what they're paid to do.

Every business has these people. I have run into a bunch of crazy situations because of this. That doesn't mean that it doesn't drive me nuts. My problem is that I try to be helpful - and I'm known for it now. When in doubt, Sarah will help bail you out! I hope they know that turn about is fair play. :-)

The worst is when a person tries to give me work in the form of a "compliment". "But Sarah, you're always so good at handling these things." Give me a break!

This morning I got to work, looked in my mail box, read a note from FORab, and immediately went straight to TNT's cube to vent. She had put in my mailbox a form that she needed to take care of with a note:

Hey Sarah - Can you please tell them it's the wrong form? Thanks!

How is it that a form that she needs to take care of gets sent to me so that I can talk to the 3rd party about the fact it is the wrong form? I think that she could have simply emailed them in the time it took for her to throw her written weight at me. She is not my supervisor, nor am I her personal secretary. FORab did the same thing last week - she wanted me to email someone to tell them they had filled out a form incorrectly. The form was dealing with something that I don't even have access to work with.

I must remember, her's is the Face of Rabies...

Forget Tagging - Paint with Light!

This is a bit off of what I usually post - but I was quite proud and had to post this. As I have mentioned before, I help work with an after school program. It's a part of JON. It's called Mauricio Saravia School of the Arts. I've been teaching a photography class to two students this time around. Last time I had 10. I much prefer only 2. They're great guys. One is about out of Middle School and the other will be a Senior this year in High School. They are both involved in the youth group as well.

One of the things that JB and I have come across with these kids is that they really like to tag. Graffiti. I know at least one of my students has been arrested for tagging in the past. The other thing I should note is that these boys are very talented. If I had half the artistic ability...

Anyway - I got this idea for my class. Painting with light. Basically you go into a dark space, leave your shutter open for awhile (we did 30 seconds) and you aim a penlight (or something...) at the lens and simply draw with light. It's not quite tagging, but it is very cool. You can also illuminate something for as long as you'd like and it'll show up. You can make it look like your head is floating in the darkness. It's a pretty cool concept.

I just wanted to show off some of the things these guys did. I think we spent an hour and a half all together on these. I know that given more time and something more than a cheap pen light they could have come up with even more things! I hope you enjoy!

Tower of Babel

When JB and I moved to Denver we started working at Jesus of Nazareth Compassionate Ministries. "JON" is a part of a church called Grace and Life Church of the Nazarene. JB is the youth pastor there, and I teach a photography class through their after school program. The church is primarily Spanish Speakers and it is located in a lower income part of Denver not far from where we live. I'd encourage you to check it out.

Last Friday JB decided that we should talk about the connection between the the stories in the Bible dealing with The Tower of Babel (languages were mixed) and Pentecost (languages were unified via the Holy Spirit). For a fun object lesson JB decided we should build The Tower of Babel with marshmallows and spaghetti.

We broke up into 3 teams and this is what we came up with.

Team 1:


The oldest Pastor's son ended up with all the younger kids. He was a real trooper.
The ended up going with the Tepee method.


Team 2:


The middle Pastor's son and the Pastor's daughter were on another team together with one of the other girls.


They were very methodical about their tower making.


Team 3:
They were made up with one guy who just graduated from high school (and earned his associates at the same time!), one girl who is a Sophomore, and a younger girl whom I had never met.


They started off with trying to make it stronger by using multiple spaghetti sticks and "flying buttresses" to keep it sturdy.



The Results?


Team 1 tried to make it as tall as possible at the end, but end ended up being the Leaning Tower of Marshmallows.



Team 2 kept their tower strong until the end and tried to build up in height at the last possible moment.



Team 3 had a good thing going but got greedy with the height when they saw the other teams passing them. After a tragic collapse as the clock was running down one of the guys helped in the demolition.



Winners: TEAM 1!

Jane of all Trades

In my short 24 years I have had many jobs. I think it is a product of coming from a family without much money....oh yeah, and trying to pay for college. One summer I ended up with 4 jobs at once. I was relieved when I finally got to go back to school.

Here are a few tips if you find yourself doing any of these odd jobs:

Christian Book Store Clerk: The owner sold the shop to a couple from Southern California. They ran the bookstore into the ground and sued the former owner. They obviously didn't read the books they were selling.

Ice Cream Truck Driver: When a man wearing paper thin skin tight purple shorts comes running up to you - PRAY that he isn't excited to see you!

Hearing Aid Marketer: When calling people that are 70+ don't be surprised that you'll accidentally call a few dead people.

Gas Station Attendant: Having three men sit in the back of the station staring at you through binoculars is NOT to be considered a compliment.

Ghost Writer: When you get paid $.25 a word - DO NOT use contractions.

Photographer: When in doubt - call it artistic.
Hot Dog Stand "Girl": When sitting outside in the sun all day waiting to sell hot dogs - WEAR SUNSCREEN!

College Admissions Assistant: Playing a game with high school students that requires them to drink a gallon of water will end up making them hurl. Keep trash cans near.

Orchard Cherry Picker: Eating lunch at 10:00am is just fine as long as you buy it off the back of a truck. Oh, and eating too many cherries will do a number to your stomach. Not good when you're stuck in the middle of an orchard.

Waitress: 95% of waiters have large egos. Play to it and you'll do fine. And be nice to the bussers and the dish-washers. They'll be your biggest ally or they can make your life very difficult.

Party Pics Photographer: Teenagers in small towns don't always have "Proms" - sometimes they have "Morps - Backwards Proms" and they can be more white trash than I would have thought they could be.

Window Tinting Receptionist: Bubbling purple tint is not cool. Good news - it comes off easily with a bit of steam!

Event Planner: When you find out that the man that you plan events for lost $300K on the last event he planned - prepare for a bumpy road....better yet, find another job!

Non Profit Department Accountant: If you are a wiz at MS Excel you can get away with filling your bosses office with 750+ balloons while he's on vacation.
Student Billing Coordinator: If you've worked at a job for over a month and they still haven't told you what it is that your job will include - you might as well cut your losses.

LOFT Store Retail: When your manager tells you that you need to go run around the block so that you can make work more of a "party atmosphere" - simply slap her and quit. Things will just keep going downhill from there.

Current Job - Vendoring and Procurement Card Monitor: If you start working with someone who looks like a troll and laughs like Freddy Krueger start writing a blog!

The Hub of my Entertainment

I must say, I have the best husband ever! We've been together since 2003, got married in 2006, lived at 5 different addresses together, and have laughed so much together that it's amazing that we ever get anything done. Not only is JB very funny, but he's a good cook, athletic, and he is currently working on his Ph.D. Somehow I ended up with everything wonderful wrapped up in my husband. And I love him for it.

I have plenty of stories about him that I could tell - but today I'm just going to tell one. I can't ruin future blog-post possibilities.

JB was a substitute teacher after he graduated from college while he was waiting for me to graduate. I love listening to teachers' stories. Kids say and do some of the funniest things - but you can't get too angry with them for what they do...you just have to laugh. The best thing is - in the midst of all the hilarity that was substitute teaching, JB still was funnier than the kids.

One day (probably after a night of too much Taco Bell) JB came home after school with his "I just did something bad" look on his face. I see this face often. I asked him what had happened at school.

It seems that my oh-so-wonderful husband had major foul-smelling flatulence problems during class. The "Silent but Deadly" kind. He devised a plan to use this fact to his own enjoyment without having to lose the face of the professional teacher. JB decided it was time for all of the students to silently work on their own work - and he would go around and help out with any questions they might have. Whenever he would be standing near a student he would let out his silent stink bomb right before he left to go help another student. He'd wait a bit, help a couple more students, then let off another stinker next to another unsuspecting student.

By the end of class there were several students being accused of smelling up the classroom. Who would have thought to blame their teacher?

JB - I love you! Thank you for keeping me smiling.

Failed Attempts at Normalcy

There are things in life that I take pride in. My photography, my work ethic, and the fact I snagged a good looking wonderful husband. However, sadly - there are MANY things that no matter how hard I try - I fall short of average. Being girly is one of those things. Being "cool" is another. My husband finds it his duty to point out the different ways that I have missed the bar by a mile, and we always have a good laugh. If you can't laugh at yourself for your shortcomings - how can you be able to laugh at others at theirs?? :-) Believe me - I have plenty of things I've done that call for a good laugh.


Here are a few of the odd things about me, the funny things I've done when trying too hard, and other stupid things that have happened that just make me laugh.

• Two years ago I tried making my husband breakfast in bed for his birthday... I ended up waking him up with the fire alarm.
  
  
• Every time I try to paint my nails (which I do not to have them painted, but to enjoy the process of painting them) - my husband asks me why I'm painting my fingers. I never fail to paint as much of my fingers as my nails.
  
  
• Lately I've noticed that girls many times wear rings on their thumbs. I pulled out of my jewelry container a ring that someone gave to me in high school and put it on my thumb. To make it fit - I wrapped tape around the bottom side of it. My husband saw things and asked me why I was wearing a taped ring. My answer? "I was trying to look cool!"
  
  
• My Uncle Steve, my dad's brother, came in town one day with his wife and kids. Right before we went out to lunch with him I searched everywhere for my fleece - knowing that this is the type of thing he'd wear. My husband caught me and has made fun of me sense when I wear it - saying it's what I wear when I'm trying to look cool.
  
  
• My first date in college, with my husband, I had to have a girl from down the hall help me do my makeup. I was clueless.
  
  
• 3 hours before my Senior Prom I got back from crawling through a cave covered head to two in mud. It took my mom and both of my sisters helping clean me up to be able to make it in time.
  
  
• First time I tried to flip eggs - I flipped them past my pan and straight to the back of the kitchen sink.
  

I'm sure I will end up with several blog posts of other stupid things I've done. These are just a few for the day.

What can I say? I'm not girly, not cool, and prone to accidents. Keeps life interesting!