You have to admire a person that can keep their cool in terrible situations. After yet another bizarre meeting with the BS Pilot, California Red decided to vent her frustration in a way that not only amused her - but had me laughing. Ben Folds could have been talking about her when he wrote "Selfless, Cold, and Composed". Score one for the good team!Now, with her permission I'm going to share with you the brilliance my beautiful friend came up with. California Red - Great job on keeping your head up and finding ways to keep laughing through the mess! BS Pilot didn't know what he was dealing with when he tried picking on you!
How to Forfend a Pernicious, Harebrained Imbecile
A mulish screwball makes for a brilliant target by starting with the timeless arsenal of wit. Break the mindless rampage of a nut's circular reasoning with a swift Twain-nian kick to the noggin such as, "all generalizations are false, including this one."
Listening to a cortically subilluminated individual's spiel is like wading through glue. Quickly divert the vacuous monologue with a quick old fashioned, "your mom." The obtuse individual is likely to refute by saying, "no, YOUR mom is (blank)." Spice it up by slowly modifying the original statement until it is something completely new. For example, progress from "your momma is so fat" to "no, YOUR momma is so PHAT that she makes Princess Leia look like Yoda."
A great way to build rapport with an imbecile is to share a sincere compliment such as, "you're smarter than you look." This is bound to butter up even the most asinine of morons.
Mirroring is another wonderful way of affectionately communicating the message, "this is what you look like." So, when your antics fail, stare at the dimwit's forehead with your mouth slightly open. This nonverbal communication is highly effective and will inevitably lead to a false sense of feeble minded camaraderie.
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